Jerry Della Femina7 days ago4 minWE'RE SCREWED ... THE SEX ROBOTS ARE COMING!!I'm going with an old column this week because I'm depressed that there's nothing funny in the world we live in. There is sickness and de...
Jerry Della FeminaJul 24 minCELEBRATING THE WEIRDEST FOURTH OF JULY SINCE 1776 (6/30/20)I wrote a version of this column last year, and if I'm still here I will publish it again next year: "O beautiful for spacious skies, Fo...
Jerry Della FeminaJul 23 minI'M SICK OF... (6/16/20)I'm sick of COVID-19. I'm sick of whites vs. blacks. I'm sick of Democrats vs. Republicans. I'm sick of straights vs. gays. I'm sick of C...
Jerry Della FeminaJul 23 minHIGH SCHOOL - 1957 VS. 2020 (6/9/20)The world is changing too fast for me. I'm taking a break this week. This is an old column. Maybe it will make you smile. Maybe it will m...
Jerry Della FeminaJul 24 minA GLIMMER OF HOPE (6/2/20)"Yesterday All my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday." I can't get the...
Jerry Della FeminaJul 25 minMY ANNUAL GUIDE TO THE JOYS OF SUMMER IN THE HAMPTONS (5/26/20)Given the restrictions and rules of our current plague, I was conflicted about doing this column that I run every year about the joys of ...
Jerry Della FeminaJul 24 minMY BROTHER JOE (5/12/20)This column came about because Denis Hamill, a wonderful writer and a good friend, encouraged me to write it. He said it this way: "My co...
Jerry Della FeminaJul 24 minGOOD NEWS FOR GRANDPARENTS (5/5/20)GOOD NEWS FOR GRANDPARENTS: THE CORONAVIRUS WILL KEEP YOU FROM ATTENDING ANOTHER OF THOSE HORRIBLE END-OF-TERM SCHOOL MUSICALS One of the...
Jerry Della FeminaJul 24 minSTOP THINKING ABOUT THE CORONAVIRUS FOR A FEW SECONDS AND THINK ABOUT FOOD (4/21/20)The news is horrible, so I now spend each waking moment thinking about food. Try it. You'll like it. I'm now sharing my cooking fun with...
Jerry Della FeminaJul 23 minWOULD YOU BELIEVE PRESIDENT ANDREW CUOMO? (4/7/20)It was bound to happen. Since I'm a Republican who didn't and won't vote for Trump, I feel I'm best qualified to advise Democrats (and, y...
Jerry Della FeminaJul 23 minIN 1954 BC (BEFORE CORONAVIRUS) (3/31/20)JEWS & ITALIANS IN THE SUMMER AND A MEMORY OF A STRIPPER NAMED GEORGIA SOTHERN (If you're like me, at this moment you're under house arre...
Jerry Della FeminaJul 25 minI NEVER SHOULD HAVE STOPPED SMOKING IN 1976 (3/24/20)I could have beaten the coronavirus to the punch. Today I would be a wonderful dead memory. Instead I’m a live pain-in-the-ass being ke...
Jerry Della FeminaJul 24 minWHY I’M LEARNING TO LOVE THE CORONAVIRUS (3/17/20)Don’t get mad at me. I know you’re cooped up in your home and both you and your spouse are having sweet, secret, never-to-be-revealed tho...
Jerry Della FeminaMar 105 minWHY YOU MUST NEVER RETIRE-I’m in Miami visiting my beautiful, incredibly brilliant grandson Teddy, who is four months old. In the meantime, this is a rerun of a c...
Jerry Della FeminaMar 34 minTHIS WILL MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER – MAYBEHave you had it up to here with the coronavirus? Me too. It seems the media has decided that it’s great for their news ratings to go “A...
Jerry Della FeminaFeb 254 minWATCHING MICHAEL BLOOMBERG TURNING INTO BUSTER PEPEWhen you become older than dirt like I am now, you’re going to find that 99% of your past slowly goes off to live in a thick, dark, impre...
Jerry Della FeminaFeb 184 minWHO KNOWS? (A Devious Fantasy Guaranteed to Scare the Pants Off of Every Democrat) SCENE: A bar just outside Ossining, New York. There is no bartender. He has been paid to leave the room. The room is empty except for one...
Jerry Della FeminaFeb 114 minWOULD YOU RATHER BE BURIED OR CREMATED?-This is a re-run of a column that ran 3 years ago… The first thing my wife, the beautiful Judy Licht, said this morning was, “Would you ...
Jerry Della FeminaFeb 43 minANOTHER BRILLIANT IDEAI have this great idea. It stems from the fact that everyone is afraid of the coronavirus, which is ridiculous. It’s another media diseas...
Jerry Della FeminaJan 285 minFOUND! A CURE FOR LONELINESS - ADOPT OR BUY YOURSELF A PUPPY There’s a reason all of us spend so much time walking the streets desperately holding on to our cell phones. They’re our lifeline. A cell...
