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MARY POPPINS’ BREASTS

So there I was, watching this wonderful old movie called “SOB” on the beloved Turner Classic Movies channel, and guess what popped up? Or...

NOBODY ASKED ME BUT

With credit to a great sportswriter named Jimmy Cannon, who first wrote a “Nobody Asked Me But” column… Nobody asked me but… The other...

WHEN FUNERALS USED TO BE FUN

I’m going to too many funerals these days. I dread reading the obituary section in the New York Times and yet it’s the first page I...

LEAVE THE GUN, TAKE THE CANNOLI

I saw a great movie the other night at the wonderful Hamptons International Film Festival. It has the worst title in the history of bad...

THE LOST BOOKIE (A MODERN DAY LOVE STORY)

Greenberg – my bookie – was missing. After I gave him the best 22 years of my life, he disappeared and left me. I had been abandoned. For...

WHY DID I DO IT?

Why did I write a column last week that made so many liberals mad at me? Didn’t I know that liberals are always right, or at least the...

WHEN IS ENOUGH…ENOUGH?

I’m intrigued by how a woman named Christine Blasey Ford has used the MeToo movement to try and derail Supreme Court nominee Brett...

DEATH BY CHINESE DELIVERY MAN

I’ve reached that age where I have these fears of what will eventually kill me. My mind seems as sharp as ever, although the other day I...

BROOKLYN NIGHTS

As I write this column the temperature outside is 98 degrees. I’m not about to leave my air-conditioned room, where the temperature is a...

BIG NOSE

A few years ago I opened the New York Post and saw a picture on the front page and read about a guy with whom I went to David A. Boody...

MY FIRST KISS

Summer is over. Where did it go? There was no June. Where did it go? The summer of 2018 will go down as a summer of rain, floods and...

WILL ME TOO GET YOU TOO?

There’s no getting away from it. MeToo is a movement that can’t be stopped. First they got the bad guys. Harvey Weinstein, Bill Cosby,...

I’M DEPRESSED

Why is it that, when a couple is married a long time, the wife decides she knows better than the husband about what’s best for him? It’s...

I WANT MY AMERICA BACK

I had a birthday the other day. Never mind which one. I spent the night before my birthday in bed staring at the ceiling and thinking,...