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  • Jerry Della Femina

A LITTLE OF THIS, A LITTLE OF THAT (3/1/22)

Ukraine president Volodymyr Zelensky is wonderful.


His line, when play-it-safe Biden offered to help him leave his country while it’s at war, was:


“I need ammunition, not a ride.”


That’s a line for the ages. That’s a Winston Churchill line.


Now let’s have a show of hands. Would you rather have Biden, Trump or Volodymyr Zelensky as president of the United States?


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Speaking of presidents, Monday’s New York Post has smart, talented former Democratic strategist Dick Morris predicting that dopey Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez will run for president in 2024 against Donald Trump.


That’s it. What a frightening thought. I’m terrified.


All the melatonin in the world won’t help me to fall asleep again.


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Let me start with the “Climate Change Miranda Warning:”


Yes, I, Jerry Della Femina, do believe in climate change.


It’s happening. So, don’t hock me about that.


But can somebody tell me why Joe Biden, in just one year in office, has turned us from a great energy-independent nation to our begging other nations to pump more oil into the world to keep oil prices down.


Biden started by shutting down the Keystone Pipeline. He discouraged domestic production.


Last week he froze drilling permits on federal land in the name of climate change.


Here’s the kicker. Did you know that the United States is importing an average of 209,000 barrels per day (bpd) of crude oil and 500,000 bpd of other petroleum products from Russia. That’s right, we are importing oil from Russia. Holy shit.


Why are we doing this?


Just so Dopey Joe can say we’re not pumping a lot of oil in our country.


No wonder Putin thinks he can rule the world.


All this is being done because of Biden’s campaign promise to cut our oil production so that our cars will have energy-related carbon dioxide emissions down to net zero by 2050.


It’s the perfect politician’s promise.


Biden will be dead by 2050. I will be dead by 2050. Some of you will be dead by 2050. Who will be around to tell history how Biden f##ked up our lives in 2022 with his stupid plan for 2050?


If Biden had the brains or the balls he would have announced a plan to build hundreds of new nuclear energy plants in the United States.


Nuclear power can produce all of the clean, safe electricity we need and could help solve a lot of our climate change issues in the future.


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I know this is a terrible time. The war in Ukraine is heartbreaking.


Watching those glorious, brave Ukrainians proving that those wonderful Kris Kristofferson lyrics are so profound:


“Freedom’s just another word for nothin’ left to lose

Nothin’, it ain’t nothin’, if it ain’t free.”


It’s freezing outside, and summer feels like it’s years away.


You must be down. I know I am. But cheer up.


Tonight, Tuesday, March 1, Joe Biden is going to give his first State of the Union Address.


It will be wonderful to hear how he’s defeated Covid.


How the economy is booming, along with how inflation will soon be gone.


How he is fighting climate change.


How he went toe-to-toe with Putin and how he had Putin quaking in his boots before Putin lost his mind and attacked Ukraine.


How he is leading the free world and how his sanctions on Russia are not, as many are saying, “too little, too late.”


How he has blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.


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Enough serious stuff. It’s time for a joke from my favorite jokester, the wonderful Lucille Halpern Brock Gregory.


A man received the following text from his neighbor:


“I am sorry Bob. Been riddled with guilt and have to confess. Been tapping your wife, day and night when you’re not home. Not getting any at home, but no excuse. Can no longer live with guilt and hope you accept sincere apology with promise that it won’t happen again.”


The man, anguished and betrayed, went into his bedroom, grabbed his gun, and without a word, shot his wife and killed her.


A few seconds later, a second text came in:


“Damn autocorrect…meant ‘wifi,’ not ‘wife’.”






-If you wish to comment on "Jerry’s Ink" please send your message to jerry@dfjp.com

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