I want to go back to a time when the only people who wore masks were bank robbers.
I want to go back to a time when the New York Times was the finest, best edited, unbiased newspaper in the world under editor Abe Rosenthal, who must be spinning in his grave watching the slanted joke the Times has turned into today.
I want to go back to a time when one could tell a joke like “TWO DYSLEXIC JEWS WALK INTO A BRA” without having the politically correct idiots moaning, “You have hurt the feelings of all Jews and the millions of people who are dyslexic and women who don’t wear bras.”
I want to go back to a time when the only athlete to take a knee was a boxer waiting out the eight count.
This is to say athletes should be free to demonstrate for any cause they like and against the Star-Spangled Banner and this country all they want. That is, until their fans get tired of their protests, and stop watching or attending games, thus shrinking the players’ ridiculously high salaries, causing them to crash to earth and go back to what they do best – playing sports.
I want to go back to a time when groups like Black Lives Matter didn’t spend their time marching and hating all cops, but instead spent their time hating the guns that were loose in black neighborhoods killing innocent black children.
I want to go back to a time when the great Martin Luther King was the voice of black people and he was destroying racism using the greatest weapon of all – his words.
I want to go back to a time when we had great presidents like Roosevelt, Truman, Eisenhower and Reagan, who only lied to us once in a while, instead of Trump, a narcissistic madman who lies every time his lips move.
I want to go back to a time when we all weren’t such goddamn sensitive snowflakes getting hysterical over an errant word or joke.
I want to go back to a time when the politically correct phonies weren’t telling us what to eat, what to drink, what to say and how to say it.
I want to go back to a time when women pushing baby carriages were more concerned with their baby’s safety than crossing a dangerous street with their eyes glued to their cell phones looking at a stupid picture of the food that their best friend ate last night.
I want to go back to a time when young people drank or smoked a joint together, made out and went to bed – sometimes on the same day they met – and there were no lawsuits threatened, just a wonderful day of making love.
I want to go back to a time when police were respected, loved and admired as they were the day after 23 policemen went into the burning buildings on September 11th, 2001, and sadly never came out.
I want to go back to the time when I owned an advertising agency with 300 people who knew that everyone was promoted not because of their sex or the color of their skin but for the size of their brains. Racism always is, always was and always will be stupid.
I want to go back to a time when liberals were intelligent people who looked at both sides of every issue instead of the fascists they are today who insist “Our Way Is the Only Way” and try to destroy any man or woman who doesn’t agree.
I want to go back to a time when New York had real mayors like La Guardia, Koch, Bloomberg or even a competent crook like O’Dwyer instead of the Commie, pinko, bed-wetting freak and incompetent fool de Blasio, who is destroying the greatest city in the world.
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