For me it started with the Washington Redskins.
Did you care that the owners of the Washington football team, under great woke pressure, had to give up the Redskins name after 89 years?
Neither did I.
But the woke had its slice of the cultural salami.
In war it’s known as the “salami-slice strategy,” a divide-and-conquer process. With it, an aggressor can influence and eventually dominate a landscape, piece by piece or slice by slice, before its victim can recognize what is happening.
Woke has been around for years.
Both the word “woke” and the concept of “wokeness” have been described as becoming synonymous with radical identity politics, cancel culture, extreme forms of political correctness, and as part of the general culture war.
You can’t pick up a newspaper these days or go on the internet for news without reading the latest idiotic woke proclamation.
They got Mr. Potato Head last month.
He’s now a “no gender” potato.
Or as my wife, the beautiful Judy Licht, calls it, The Dud Who Used to Be a Spud.
Last week woke got Dr. Seuss.
They got the company that controls those wonderful books to kill a number of Seuss books – which include “And to Think That I Saw It on Mulberry Street” and “If I Ran the Zoo” – because the books “portray people in ways that are hurtful and wrong.”
What was wrong? What was poisoning the minds of tens of millions of kids and grownups all these years?
In “And to Think That I Saw It on Mulberry Street,” an Asian person is portrayed wearing a conical hat, holding chopsticks, and eating from a food bowl.
The Seuss book “If I Ran the Zoo” includes a drawing of two barefoot native men wearing what appear to be grass skirts with their hair tied above their heads.
The question is who’s more dangerous, the militant woke people who want to whitewash our eyes or the corporate idiots who surrender to the woke Nazis’ slightest whim?
It’s not going to end with Dr. Seuss.
As the woke creeps take charge, we’re in for the greatest book-burning orgy since the Nazis decided in 1933 to burn the books of thousands of authors, including Albert Einstein, Theodore Dreiser, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Ernest Hemingway, Helen Keller, Jack London and Upton Sinclair.
University students in college towns across Germany burned thousands of books they considered to be “un-German,” heralding an era of state censorship and cultural control.
On that note, hold on to your copy of one of the great American novels, Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain, because it’s about to be banned by woke.
Ironically you can still get Mein Kampf by Adolf Hitler, which is a book that woke has decided your eyes can see.
Want to play Scrabble? Forget it. Here goes another slice of the woke salami:
Mattel plans to scrub the U.K. version of Scrabble of hundreds of “offensive” words.
Take goolies, wrinkles, boffing, farting, fatso and 400 other words out of your vocabulary.
“The woke brigade is ruining our game,” two-time British Scrabble champ Craig Beevers recently complained.
Beevers is lucky his last name is spelled with two e’s. Imagine if it was spelled with an e and an a – we all know what the name “Beaver” describes.
Are you a parent or a grandparent of a 5-year-old? Oh, you’re going to love this:
Senator Samra G. Brouk, an insane, freshman woke Democrat from Rochester, would like to own your child’s mind and tie New York’s health curriculum to standards written by left-wing groups that advocate “Sex Ed for Social Change.”
Under that group’s standards, it means your child’s public and charter schools would have to teach your 5-year-old about “gender identities” and they also want to instruct your 8-year-old on hormone blockers to prevent puberty in transgender-identifying preteens.
Kids as young as 10 would get lectures on vaginal, oral and anal sex; study “queer, two-spirit asexual, pan sexual” and other gender identities, and receive explicit instruction on the use of external and internal condoms, dental dams and other contraceptives.
I guess this means children innocently sneaking off to play “Doctor” like we did when we were 7 years old is no longer in the cards.
Your woke future? It’s bleak.
The day will come when millions of old movies will be ordered destroyed by woke.
Hopalong Cassidy, John Wayne, Clint Eastwood, all the old westerns and cowboys-and-Indians movies must go.
War movies that portray the Japanese in a bad light can’t be shown.
Gangster movies that offend Italians are out.
Charlie Chan movies that show an overweight Chinese detective whose number 1 son is a bit of a dope and whose driver is a black man named Birmingham Brown will have every print destroyed.
Cartoons?
As someone mentioned on Facebook the other day, the worst of the lot is Woody Woodpecker.
Come on. We all know what a “woody” is.
And what horrible man hasn’t bragged about his “wood.”
And as for “pecker,” I rest my case.
And we all know Popeye dominated his long-suffering girlfriend Olive Oyl, and Mickey had more young fans than Minnie.
And how about Bugs Bunny? Why wasn’t there a Mrs. Bunny? Was Bugs our first transgender bunny?
It doesn’t matter.
Cartoons will all be destroyed before they ruin the lives of children of the woke generation.
And finally, what can we older people who lived in a time when people were free to talk expect as the woke people take over our world and ban excessive happiness and laughter?
Let me quote that great philosopher Yogi Berra.
Hold it! Did I say “Yogi”? That’s out. Yogi is an explicitly religious element of Hinduism.
Don’t hurt me, woke people.
I meant no harm. I’m not used to being a prisoner of the culture Nazis.
Let me change that.
In the words of Larry Berra,
“THE FUTURE AIN’T WHAT IT USED TO BE”
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