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LAUGH YOUR WAY OUT OF 2020 (12/29/20)

This was just sent to me from Serpent Sunday Funnies:


Here are 12 things to consider as we get closer to closing the door on one of the most trying years of our lifetime.


1. The dumbest thing I ever bought was a 2020 planner.


2. I was so bored I called Jake from State Farm just to talk to someone. He asked me what I was wearing.


3. 2019: Stay away from negative people. 2020: Stay away from positive people.


4. The world has turned upside down. Old folks are sneaking out of the house & their kids are yelling at them to stay indoors!


5. This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her dog. It was obvious she thought her dog understood her. I came into my house & told my cat. We laughed a lot.


6. Every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.


7. Does anyone know if we can take showers yet or should we just keep washing our hands?


8. This virus has done what no woman has been able to do. Cancel sports, shut down all bars & keep men at home!


9. I never thought the comment, “I wouldn’t touch him/her with a 6-foot pole” would become a national policy, but here we are!


10. I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator.


11. I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to the backyard. I’m getting tired of the living room.


12. Never in a million years could I have imagined I would go up to a bank teller wearing a mask & ask for money.


************************


A husband and wife are shopping at a busy mall shortly before Christmas.


The wife suddenly noticed that her husband was missing and as they had a lot to do, she called him on his cell.


The wife said, “Where are you? You know we have lots to do.”


He said, “You remember the jewelers we went into about 10 years ago, and you fell in love with that diamond necklace? I could not afford it at the time and I said that one day I would get it for you?”


Little tears started to flow down her cheek and she got all choked up.


“Yes, I do remember that shop,” she replied.


“Well, I’m in the golf shop next door to that.”


NEXT YEAR WILL BE BETTER! HAPPY NEW YEAR!



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