THE WOKE WAR IS OVER. WE LOST. (7/27/21)
The wokes have won, this time.
They had youth on their side.
They had the schools and their “I-have-a-job-for-life” lefty professors on their side.
They had every die-hard, United States-hating liberal on their side.
They had the New York Times on their side.
They had weak and pathetic Hollywood on their side.
They even had Ben and Jerry on their side.
On the other hand we, the opposition, were older and much wiser, but sadly many of us have reached an age where, as one brilliant thinker recently said, “It’s no longer a question of staying healthy. It’s a question of finding a sickness you like.”
The crowning blow came when the Cleveland Indians announced they were changing their name from the Indians to the Guardians after the 2021 season.
As someone who wrote to “The Hill” reported: Almost everyone who is non-woke on the planet, outside of Cleveland’s crack marketing and branding executives, seems to loathe the new name. Well, except for the woke White House, which said it “certainly supports” the name change.
The Cleveland Guardians? Guardians? It seems to me that Guardians sounds more like the name of a condom brand than the name of a proud baseball team.
Can’t you just see the commercial: “Trojan Brand Condoms presents the new ultra-thin & incredibly strong & sensitive Guardian Condom.”
I say if we can’t beat the wokes in this idiotic changing of sports team names, let’s join them and ruin it for everyone.
As Clarence Page said in the Chicago Tribune:
It won’t stop with the Cleveland Indians…next come the Kansas City Chiefs and the Atlanta Braves...If your shorts are in a wad because of the reference the late and lamented name the Washington Redskins makes to skin color, then it’s time to get rid of the Cleveland Browns.
The Carolina Panthers obviously were named to keep the memory of militant Blacks from the 60s alive. Gone. It’s offensive to us white folk.
The New York Yankees offend the Southern population. Do you see a team named for the Confederacy? No! There is no room for any reference to that tragic war that cost this country so many young men’s lives. We are also offended by the blatant references to the Catholic religion among our sports team names. Totally inappropriate to have the New Orleans Saints, the Los Angeles Angels or the San Diego Padres. For years these blasphemous names have made God cry.
Then there are the team names that glorify criminals who raped and pillaged. We are talking about the horrible Oakland Raiders, the Minnesota Vikings, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and the Pittsburgh Pirates! Those disgusting names must go.
Now, let us address those teams that clearly send the wrong message to our children. The Los Angeles Chargers promote irresponsible fighting or even spending habits. Wrong message to our children.
The New York Giants and the San Francisco Giants promote obesity, a growing childhood epidemic. Wrong message to our children. The Cincinnati Reds promote downers/barbiturates/Communism. Wrong message to our children.
The Milwaukee Brewers. Well, that goes without saying. Wrong message to our children.
And for those die-hard Oregon State fans, it might also make some sense to change the name of the Oregon State women’s athletic teams to something other than the “Beavers,” especially when they play Southern California. Do we really want the Trojans sticking it to the Beavers?
I say let’s not stop with team names. Let’s stick it to the woke idiots on the subject of statues.
Statues have feelings, too.
Yet the wokes are tearing them down in their frantic attempt to rewrite history.
The wokes are like all the dictators in history. They feel they have the power to change yesterday’s weather.
I have a great idea for all the statues that have been removed by the woke idiots.
My idea involves a patriotic billionaire like Stephen Schwarzman or Carl Icahn or Steve Ross.
Actually, any run-of-the-mill billionaire will do.
So we want our billionaire to buy 20 acres of beautiful bucolic land in the state of his choice. For this he will have his name honored forever as we create:
[Billionaire’s Name Goes Here]’s Land of Statues: A History of the United States.
This land will become the new home for the thousands of statues that have been removed by the same type of thinking as the Islamic militants who tore down every statue in Syria and Iraq in an attempt to destroy the past.
Thousands of beautiful statues will find a new home in our Land of Statues.
Some of these statues are cast in bronze, others carved in stone.
There will be statues of Christopher Columbus, George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Teddy Roosevelt, Andrew Jackson, Robert E. Lee, Jefferson Davis.
Did you just read the names Robert E. Lee and Jefferson Davis? Of course. We will have statues of the hundreds of Confederate leaders that have been torn down, because there is one thing that woke and other idiots can’t change: our country’s history.
By the same thinking, we will have statues of Martin Luther King Jr., Harriet Tubman, Booker T. Washington, John Lewis, the African American Civil War Memorial, and if there is a statue of George Floyd, it will have a place in the Land of Statues protected from the next crop of idiots who will show up a hundred years from now and decide they want to remove the memory George Floyd from our nation’s history.
In Dallas, construction crews recently removed a 12-foot-tall bronze statue of a Texas Ranger, long seen as a mythical figure in state folklore.
The Texas Ranger was part of our nation’s history. It belongs in the Land of Statues.
It will be part of an incredible display of the greatest collection of wanted or unwanted statues in history, with an explanation at the base of each statue of why it became a statue in the first place.
In a short time, the Land of Statues will attract millions of tourists and pigeons.
It will be my generation’s message to woke:
As long as you try to rewrite our history, the war will never be over.
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