I have this wonderful friend who is a little deaf.
Excuse me. I’m woke and politically correct enough to know that you can’t call a person who is deaf er…er…deaf.
Deaf people don’t want to hear that they’re deaf.
I now must call her “hearing challenged.”
My friend turned on the Grammys a few weeks ago on CBS – a broadcaster that’s preferred by old, deaf people.
Being hard of hearing (did I write that?), she turned on the close captioning and on came Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion singing and gyrating in their soft-core lesbian version of a song called “WAP.”
You’re about to read the words my friend saw on the screen of the old boring Columbia Broadcasting System.
As my friend pointed out, this was the same CBS that once showed Elvis Presley on the Ed Sullivan show only from the waist up because God forbid their viewers might see Elvis’s hips moving suggestively at the camera.
We’ve come a long way since then. I will leave it up to you after you see these lyrics as to which way we’ve come.
I’m publishing these words as a public service for my friends who might have missed the lyrics because they were in shock at the sight of these two beautiful women humping and feeling each other up on their home television sets in their living rooms just a few feet from their hopefully sleeping children.
The only change I have made is to not write the full N word because that’s a word that I never use and will never even type, although both Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion seemed very comfortable spelling it out.
WAP
“I said, certified freak Seven days a week Wet-ass pussy Make that pull-out game weak, woo (ah)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, you fucking with some wet-ass pussy Bring a bucket and a mop for this wet-ass pussy Give me everything you got for this wet-ass pussy
Beat it up, (N word), catch a charge Extra large and extra hard Put this pussy right in your face Swipe your nose like a credit card Hop on top, I wanna ride I do a kegel while it’s inside Spit in my mouth, look in my eyes This pussy is wet, come take a dive Tie me up like I’m surprised Let’s role play, I’ll wear a disguise I want you to park that big Mack truck Right in this little garage Make it cream, make me scream Out in public, make a scene I don’t cook, I don’t clean But let me tell you how I got this ring (ayy, ayy)
Gobble me, swallow me, drip down the side of me (yeah) Quick, jump out ‘fore you let it get inside of me (yeah) I tell him where to put it, never tell him where I’m ‘bout to be I’ll run down on him ‘fore I have a (N word) running me (pow, pow) Talk your shit, bite your lip (yeah) Ask for a car while you ride that dick (while you ride that dick) You really ain’t never gotta fuck him for a thang (yeah) He already made his mind up ‘fore he came (ayy, ah) Now get your boots and your coat (ah, ah, ah) For this wet-ass pussy He bought a phone just for pictures Of this wet-ass pussy (click, click, click) Pay my tuition just to kiss me On this wet-ass pussy (mwah, mwah, mwah) Now make it rain if you wanna See some wet-ass pussy (yeah, yeah)
Look, I need a hard hitter, I need a deep stroker I need a Henny drinker, I need a weed smoker Not a garden snake, I need a king cobra With a hook in it, hope it lean over”
I have to stop now, although there are 38 more lines of “WAP,” but I think you have a good idea what they might be.
I have to stop now because I’m writing this at night and the spirit of my late sainted mother Connie just appeared and she says if I write another line of “WAP” she’s going to wash out my computer with soap.
I am interested in how my woke friends, my politically correct friends and my MeToo friends see this.
Do they approve? I do, but I’m your old, everything-goes grandfather who lived in the 60s and 70s and I’ve never heard a word or seen a sentence that I want censored.
But I am interested in how MeToo views this depiction of women.
I want to get the woke and the politically correct Nazis’ view of the words of this so-called song.
This song was on the Grammys weeks ago.
So far the silence is deafening.
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