Everybody’s dying. I know that sooner or later we all must die, but lately it’s happening sooner to so many people I know. These days whe...

It was a “politically correct” witch hunt, and you and I have lost. To show they’re in charge, the PC idiots have decided that there are ...

Hi, little guy. I’m so happy to know you. I’ll call you Teddy VIII because you’re my eighth grandchild. You’re three days old, so I guess...

Steve Jobs was a genius and he belongs right up there with Edison and Alan Turing (the man who really invented the computer) and Bill Gat...

I cried like a baby the first time I saw a movie. Maybe it was because I was a baby. I was three years old. The movie was “Jessie James” ...

This is a column that I wrote 25 years ago. Let me state right now that every word you are about to read is true. This happened exactly a...

Inside the Tortured Mind of a 10-Year-Old Boy I wish I could feel it again. I so wish I could feel it again – even for a few seconds. I w...

We have a new puppy. I’ve named him Mussolini. It’s a balance thing. We now have one dog named Shlomo, which is a Jewish name, so it stan...

[Reprint of a column that ran in Jan. 2017.] I miss spam. These days my email is filtered every day and tossed by an unseen hand into jun...

Let’s stop all this bullcrap about assault weapons. Donald Trump, who sucks up to the NRA, has called mass shootings a mental health issu...

EDITORIAL FROM THE WASHINGTON POST: “The Arctic Ocean is warming up, icebergs are growing scarcer and in some places the seals are findin...

It’s time to  say something about two of my all-time favorites: salt and fat. Let’s talk first about fat, which is delicious. Did you eve...

There was a time before the MeToo finger-pointers and the Politically Correct Mafia told us how to live and love. There was a time before...

HELP! Dogs and birds have taken over my life. We now have 4, count them, 4 dogs running around the house in Bridgehampton. There’s my bel...

When it comes to beaches, nothing compares to the Hamptons. Malibu? It’s a puny strip of sand. Cannes? Great for bare boobs, but it’s a t...

Did I ever tell you about when I had leprosy? It was really not that serious. Cured it with Pepto-Bismol. The fact is, I have had every d...

Every once in a while you read a story in the newspapers and you’re struck with how cruel people can be to each other. Take the story in ...

Maybe it was my birthday that did it. Maybe it’s because I’m now officially old and decrepit, but lately I’m spending a lot of time think...

This is practically the same birthday column I write every year. Nothing has changed except I’m a year older and a lot crankier… I want t...

Do you want to live in a Bernie Sanders world where everything will be free except freedom? I don’t. This is our chance to take over the w...